Thank the Fucking Lord

Just when we thought there was nothing going on in triathlon except for concerns over whether to swim a lot with toys or not much without them or swimming is a waste of time, guess who saved the day?

That's right, Matthew McConaughey. Rumor has it he's going to be doing a triathlon, but only if USAT waives the "shirts required for men" rule and also the "no wearing a douchebag scarf on your head" rule.

Rumor also has it he's training with Lance. Really! Would we lie?

Running is part of triathlon, right?

So there are countless discussions on bikes. Seriously, just pick a crank length and ride. It's exhausting. There are far too many discussions on swimming 20,000 yard workouts. There are even talks about nutrition and Lance and everything but...

Running... Why is that? Are triathletes bored with running? Are they too cool? Why do triathletes not care about running? Maybe triathletes are just runners who can't lose the final 25 pounds? (I would name names, but I have been asked to be a kinder Bert). Maybe triathletes just like telling people they are triathletes. Running isn't a pick up line, but saying that you're a triathlete is. (Translation: I have more money than time for you).